I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize