do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
