There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
