I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
