I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
