I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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