well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
