Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
