The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize