your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
