All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
It's just like the Real World with babies
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
