Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My ass is underappreciated
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
