Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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