Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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