Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
