Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
