I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
