Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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