Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i already hear my dad disowning me
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
