I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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