Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I will die if light touches me.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
