just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
