she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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