it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
