My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
