The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I have feelings that need drinking.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
