Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize