I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
so let's talk penis.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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