We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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