Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Please don't give away my fajitas
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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