I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
