if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Drunk is a universal language darling
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
