You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
