I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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