hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
