bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
