Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
