I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So. Much. Porn.
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