You're my little dorito
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
he fucked my hip out of place.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You ruined the universe
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
