Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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