She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
