Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
