No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
