So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My ass is underappreciated
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize