I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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