You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
