Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
