2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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