I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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