We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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