we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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