just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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