You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Randomize
