They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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