a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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