My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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