I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Let's paint friendship bongs
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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