Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
