It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize