He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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