During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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