just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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