u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
