perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
