So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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