I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
