two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
