CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
